How to enjoy time alone without feeling lonely

Loneliness is not the same as being alone. You can be alone without feeling lonely and you can feel lonely while you are not alone. Once you understand this essential difference, it will be easier to combat loneliness and enjoy being alone as well.

If you are feeling lonely, you may think that other people are out socializing all the time, but this is not true. At any given moment many people are doing things by themselves. Reading a book, working out in the gym, tending the garden, watching television or doing house chores.

Solitude

Many people value spending time alone like this in a positive way. They actually choose to spend time alone. It’s called solitude. There are many ways to enjoy alone time (or ‘me time’) and spend time alone in a meaningful way.

Turn your alone time into something valuable. Instead of feeling lonely, try to think of your alone time in a positive, meaningful way.

Alternatives for connecting

If you feel like talking to someone, but you know nobody to call or nobody answers, you might feel even lonelier. Why don’t you think instead: “OK, so at the moment there’s nobody to talk to, how can I enjoy myself?”

If connecting to someone doesn’t work at a given moment, try to enjoy your alone time. Read that book, hit the gym or go for a walk (fresh air and physical activity are great mood boosters!). Keep yourself busy and your mind occupied (without denying or running away from your feelings) and enjoy what you are doing.

Connect to yourself

Although humans are social beings, it’s also important to be able to be alone, to be able to enjoy yourself without others. This requires you to be OK with yourself. Not just for your own mental well-being, but also for connecting with others.

Being OK with yourself is the foundation to having meaningful connections with others.

So how do you feel about yourself? Do you feel comfortable with yourself? The saying goes that if you feel lonely when alone, you are in bad company. Your best defense against feeling lonely is being comfortable and content when you are by yourself.

Connect to yourself first before connecting to others.